SurvivaBall saves managers from annoying climate change

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Bring me home, please

An advanced new technology will keep corporate managers safe even when climate change makes their life "impossible."

Global warming is causing an accelerating onslaught of hurricanes, floods, droughts, tornadoes, etc. In order to head off such catastrophic scenarios, scientists agree we must reduce our carbon emissions by 70% within the next few years. Doing that would seriously undermine corporate profits, however, and so a more forward-thinking solution is needed.

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Fred Wolf and a colleague at Halliburton demonstrated yesterday at the Catastrophic Loss conference in Florida three SurvivaBall mockups, and described how the inflatable units will sustainably protect managers from natural or cultural disturbances of any intensity or duration. The devices will include sophisticated communications systems, nutrient gathering capacities, onboard medical facilities, and a defense infrastructure to ensure that the corporate mission will not go unfulfilled even when most human life is rendered impossible by catastrophes or the consequent epidemics and armed conflicts.

Related: The Yes Men in Finland.
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Posted by Ewen Chardronnet on Spectre.

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